Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
