I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
