In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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