me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
