But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
