I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
honey bunches of taint.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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