he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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