I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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