You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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