Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I touched a dick in church today
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
