I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
