she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
