She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
