went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
