I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
