I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
