Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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