so that wasnt chicken after all
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
