dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
