it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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