Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
