I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
