I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
