the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
