You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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