My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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