I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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