I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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