Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
