the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
