Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
