Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
