haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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