oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
