Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
