I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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