Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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