i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
