We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
