A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
