There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
