what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
