I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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