Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
