The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
