your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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