That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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