I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
