when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
