I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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